Time to analyze the 2023 Kentucky Derby field, in post position order, in the form of Haiku; a Japanese poem of 17 syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.
To read previous editions of The Haiku Handicapper, click here.
#1 – Hit Show
Lost a brutal bob
But proved he could take a punch
Post draw does him in
#2 – Verifying
Who needs a rider?
Could be a fun summer horse
Holding stock for now
#3 – Two Phil's
Blue-collar hero
will dominate state derbies
Over the summer
#4 – Confidence Game
Valentine's candy
Was on discount at Walgreen's
The last time he ran
#5 – Tapit Trice
Would it be cliché
To say he's my Belmont horse?
Will be gaining ground
#6 – Kingsbarns
Why'd it take so long
For a final-prep winner
To land a jockey?
#7 – Reincarnate
Hit the wall last out
Started with *Name Redacted*
This isn't his spot
#8 – Mage
Looked clear at Gulfstream
Must resolve his gate issues
To factor again
#9 – Skinner
Thrilling So-Cal tilt
A California third
Won't make a dent here
#10 – Practical Move
SCRATCHED
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If you appreciate our work, you can support us by subscribing to our Patreon stream. Learn more.#11 – Disarm
He did just enough
To make it into the gate
C's don't get Derbies
#12 – Jace's Road
Two races this year
Lost by combined 19 lengths
Nah, I think I'm good
#13 – Sun Thunder
Here's a game – don't cheat
Name the best Sun Thunder race
Go ahead…I'll wait
#14 – Angel of Empire
Flawless Oaklawn prep
If he's got one more level
This could go through him
#15 – Forte
Was his Gulfstream surge
A display of his resolve
Or tank-emptying?
#16 – Raise Cain
Moves up in the mud
He'll pass a few in the stretch
But far from enough
#17 – Derma Sotogake
Doesn't need the lead
But if he sets cruising speed
He might just draw off
#18 – Rocket Can
That Holy Bull win
Feels like a lifetime ago
Small exotic threat
#19 – Lord Miles
SCRATCHED
#20 – Continuar
SCRATCHED
#21 – Cyclone Mischief
Constantly around
Never in a headline spot
Also-ran fodder
#22 – Mandarin Hero
Nearly shocked the world
In American debut
Save a place for him
#23 – King Russell
Surprise! He's running.
Could be a fun Preakness horse
In too deep today
Prediction
With a well-placed trip
Angel of Empire wins it
Then five, twenty-two
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