‘Non Fungible Thoroughbreds’ Are 2021’s Worst Holiday Gift On Purpose

Every year, kids around the world beg their parents to get them a pony for Christmas. But horses—especially Lexington, Kentucky's, world-class Thoroughbreds—are super expensive and a huge responsibility. There's got to be a better* way! 

Just in time for the Holiday Season, VisitLEX is offering up for sale a collection of Non Fungible Thoroughbreds,” 10 digital images that look absolutely nothing like the beautiful analog horses that actually live in Lexington, the Horse Capital of the World. 

For a fraction of the cost of a real pony, you can buy your little helper one of these pixelated square JPGs of something that looks vaguely equine. 

Just imagine the look on your child's face when they finally lay eyes on an 8-bit “OpenSea Biscuit,” “Man o' Snore,” or “The Ohio of Horses.” 

Tears of joy, anyone? 

Unfortunately, you can't ride these horses. Or pet them. Or feed them. Or, like most NFTs, do much of anything with them. That's because they're a completely computerized representation of a horse that exists solely on every child's favorite online ledger: the blockchain!** 

On the plus side, Non Fungible Thoroughbreds require no feeding, training, or upkeep of any kind.

As seen in this launch VIDEO, kids really appreciate the practicality.*** 

The VisitLEX collection of Non Fungible Thoroughbreds is available now at NonFungibleThoroughbreds.com. And proceeds from the auction will be donated to Old Friends Farm, a nonprofit organization in Georgetown, Kentucky, that provides a dignified retirement for real Thoroughbreds once their racing and breeding careers are over. 

“NFTs are definitely hot right now,” said VisitLEX VP of Marketing Gathan Borden, “but they're no substitute for the real deal. You might not be able to get your kids an actual pony, but that doesn't mean you have to disappoint them. You can give them an experience they'll never forget with a convenient, affordable trip to Lexington to see the finest Thoroughbreds in the world.” 

*Worse. 

**This statement has not been verified. 

***They definitely won't.

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