Southeast Asia Blog: Vaccinating the Horses

This is the last in a series of travelogues that jockey-veterinarian Ferrin Peterson has written for the TDN about her charitable mission to Southeast Asia to bring much-needed veterinary care to the population's animals. To read the prior installments, click here, here or here.

The trials of the jungle are ever-changing. We had started vaccinating the horses one evening when suddenly the sky opened and a downpour came. We returned the vaccines to the refrigerator and ran for shelter. In the evenings, I always read my book, “Where There Is No Animal Doctor,” to look for answers from my cases that day. I used my headlamp to read, but that night the rain brought swarms of small moths which were attracted to the light. I tried to wrap myself in a tarp so they could not fly in my face, but they managed to find an opening and fly right into my eye. I finally gave up and went to sleep early. The villagers said those moths come out during storms, and the next morning everything was covered in dead moths. Usually the bugs are not that bad this time of year with it being the dry season. Next trip, I am bringing a mosquito net! Bathing in a cold river used to be tough for me, but between the humidity, long hikes with the herd, and looking at parasites, I was always grateful to jump in that river at the end of the day. Lacking the vet supplies I need happen on a case-by-case basis, and I will never be able to pack enough to cover all my bases. It makes me appreciate the convenience of working in a fully-equipped hospital and having pharmacies readily available.

The vaccines stayed properly temperature-regulated this time. Other than the rain storm delaying our vaccine clinic and working with half-feral mules and ponies, the mule men successfully vaccinated the entire herd. I told the men the amount of vaccine to draw up according the animal's size and the area on the neck to administer the vaccine, but I left the hands-on work up to them. One of the men was missing most of his fingers; but despite his birth defect, he was able to figure out how to connect a syringe and needle, which requires a fair amount of dexterity.

I conducted a fecal test to get an idea of the types of parasites infecting the herd. I went to the human medical clinic to use their microscope and met some of the medics and students working there. They were very interested in what I was doing with horse stool, so it was easy to strike up a conversation in broken English. I learned one of the medics, named Naytaw, had recently graduated with a Masters in Public Health. He spoke English well, and he told me there are university programs for refugees, and that he had interacted with Harvard Medical School through the program. After graduating, he chose to return to his village to help his own people.

After finishing my parasitology observation at the clinic, I headed back to meet with the mule handlers. The tubes of horse dewormer had taken up a lot of space in my pack, but it was a high priority, especially in a tropical environment. The ponies and mules demonstrated again that they are only half broke, but the men did a great job of working together. It was humorous to see such a small pony take advantage of four of us trying to hold them down, but we did succeed in the end.

I had a friend donate dog and cat dewormer for my trip, which had not been on my radar until she reached out about the idea. There had only been one dog in that village the last time I visited. His name was Freddy, and Freddy has since passed but left behind a bunch of Freddy juniors. I watched the village kids running around carrying puppies, and I envisioned the canine parasites that can be passed to humans. I observed the dogs scratching often, and I wondered which external parasites they could be passing on, too.

Deworming the dogs one time would not make much of an impact, so I packed in a surplus of dewormers but needed to find someone who would maintain a regular deworming schedule. I remembered Naytaw with his MPH, which focuses on the interaction of animals and humans. I hoped he might see the importance in what I wanted to implement.

I found Naytaw at his house, and he happily accepted the assignment. He went into his house and grabbed a list of the homes in the village that had dogs or cats and how many. I was surprised and asked him why he had this list. He said they had told him a veterinarian was coming to visit, and he hoped he might be able to work with her. He had been too reserved to ask to me when we had met before. That was an encouraging coincidence. Naytaw's list guided our house visits, and he dewormed all the pets in his village. I wrote out instructions so he could remember the dosages, and he thanked me for teaching him a new skill.

The following day, I hiked with a few of the mule men, Poh, and a mule to a village who had questions regarding their water buffalo. I brought along a tube to teach them how to relieve bloat and a wound insecticide to prevent screw worms. When we arrived at the village after our long hike, I did not see any water buffalo. Apparently the message had not been relayed that a water buffalo needed to be present for the clinic. It was another good reminder of patience and flexibility when working in a foreign culture. We waited over an hour in a bamboo hut while they said they had someone trying to find a buffalo. A sack of rice on a bamboo floor was comfortable enough, and I took a nap while I waited for the buffalo round-up.

Poh woke me up, telling me there were two very sick teenage boys that would be passing by from another village who were trying to reach the medical clinic. I offered them the mule we had brought in with us and wondered if he was broke to ride. They nearly took me up on the offer, but instead the people from the village appeared with a hammock strung on bamboo and carried the boys themselves through the mountainous terrain to the clinic. I watched them head out–working together to carry the boys and was once again blown away by the way they care for each other.
After they left with the boys, we returned our focus to the water buffalo clinic. It was another reminder to me of the importance of being patient and flexible with my planning. If we had not had to wait so long, I would have missed out on an amazing demonstration of selflessness.

The villagers were unable to find where the buffalo had gone, so I decided we could just have a sit-down meeting where I would do my best to answer their questions. Sitting on a hard bamboo floor for hours is another jungle challenge I am learning to appreciate.

I had been refreshing my knowledge of common cattle pathologies in preparation for the trip, and I was able to answer more questions than I expected. The most peculiar question was that some buffalo had eaten their clothes which were hanging to dry, and the clothes became trapped in their stomach. Even Poh laughed while translating that one. They wanted to know if there was something they could give to break down the fabric. When I worked as a small animal vet, I was shocked by the items we scoped out of dogs' stomachs; things which they had spontaneously decided looked appetizing. I never knew water buffalo had some much in common with golden retrievers.

My time in the jungle ran out, but I believe that important nutritional changes had been made which, in time, would do a lot to improve the herd's overall health. Several days after my departure, one of the volunteers still at the village reached out to assure me that the mule handlers were still turning the herd out to pasture and still cutting down banana leaves for them to eat with their increased portion of grain.

When I made it back into town, I returned to the vet shop with a translator to find medications that I had promised to send back to the village for their water buffalo. One of those items was dewormer. After witnessing how little the buffalo from that village are handled, I realized it was important to find a topical solution rather than an injection, as it is far easier to pour liquid on their back than inject them with a needle. It took a lot of translating and charades to identify what I was looking for, but we found the medications and the buffalo will be receiving their first dewormer treatment any day now.

My last stop in town was to visit ECHO, a nonprofit farm that carried a copy of the book, “Where There Is No Animal Doctor.” I wanted another copy to send back to the mule handlers in a second language (theirs is in English). Most of the mule handlers are illiterate, but they told me if they have the book in two languages they can show it to other villagers who can read it to them. Thankfully there are illustrations on every page, too.

When I went to ECHO and told the staff that I was a veterinarian, they asked me to come look at three of their sick calves. I assessed the young calves and gave their intern, Christina, a basic treatment plan. Christina and I discovered we were from the same hometown, Sacramento, CA, and now here we were both using our unique interests to serve on the other side of the globe. It really is a small world.

Christina gave me a tour of the rest of the farm, which had livestock that they were using for nutritional assessment. She taught me which plants are hardy and easy to propagate in the jungle and which ones have higher protein content. I took a special interest in that, as I want to continue building the herd's nutritional plan even as I return to the U.S.

That concludes this journey. It was a special time to foster new and old relationships, teach and learn from the local villagers, and do my part to make a small difference in the lives of animals and the people connected to them.

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Three-Year-Layoff Winner a Study in Patient Horsemanship

The Week in Review by T.D. Thornton

When Silver Seeker (Central Banker) made his second start off a nearly three-year layoff Saturday at Aqueduct, the betting public was skeptical of the Midwest shipper's chances, dismissing him at 19-1 in a second-level allowance/optional claimer for New York-breds.

The price seemed about right if all you had to go on were the gelding's past performances, which showed just a ninth-place November prep at Hawthorne for Gene LaCroix, an obscure-to-horseplayers trainer riding an 0-for-30 losing streak that dated to Sept. 20, 2020.

Bettors might have assessed Silver Seeker's chances more favorably had they been aware that even though LaCroix, 74, is only a hobbyist trainer with a several-horse private stable, he is, by many accounts, considered to be an expert layoff conditioner.

Raised in a horse-centric family with decades of multi-breed experience, LaCroix for the past 20 years has operated LaCroix Training Center in La Grange, Kentucky, alongside his wife, Erin. A bit off the beaten path, their facility is a green, 65-stall spread with a half-mile training track; a tranquil oasis where some of America's top Thoroughbred outfits send horses (including a few Grade I winners) for breaking, legging-up and conditioning.

Likewise, even if they didn't have a wager on him, railbirds might have cheered a little more lustily for Silver Seeker himself if they knew the incredible physical obstacles and setbacks the gelding faced just to make it back to the races on a chilly December afternoon, let alone win by two lengths en route to a $41.40 upset.

“This whole thing has been a challenge to bring this horse back, to give him a chance to see if he still had the heart and the will to do it,” Gene LaCroix told TDN by phone several hours after the Dec. 10 win. “Our operation, LaCroix rehab, is well known. But Erin and I are like amateur trainers. We don't do it professionally. We just have a few horses. We're pretty much out of it except for this silver horse. And it's just been such a pleasure to see him come along and how good he looked. He's a big, handsome horse.”

LaCroix grew up accompanying his father, Dr. Eugene E. LaCroix, to the backside of Turf Paradise in Phoenix, Arizona, in the 1950s and 60s. Dr. LaCroix was one of the pioneers of Arabian racing on a pari-mutuel basis, but like his son, his horsemanship was not confined to one specific breed.

The younger Gene was an innovator in Arabian stallion syndication by the 1980s, and prior to focusing their attention on Thoroughbreds, he and Erin enjoyed successful careers in the show horse industry, earning more than 100 U.S. National Championships and two lifetime achievement awards.

After moving to Kentucky, in 2003 the LaCroixes started a rehabilitation and lay-up program for Thoroughbreds at their farm, handling all aspects of the operation, from business management to equine care. Because they live on the property, they are responsible for all the late barn inspections before turning in themselves, although the operation is rounded out by longtime, experienced staffers.

Over the past two decades, trainers and owners such as Tom Amoss, Tim Glyshaw, Maggi Moss, and Padua Stables have utilized the LaCroixes' services. The farm's website even includes a testimonial from Dr. Larry Bramlage, one of the most respected equine surgeons in America, alongside words of praise from other notable veterinarians.

In 2008, Gene became a licensed trainer. But the scope of his own stable has generally been limited to buying a few yearlings, training them. and then either selling them at auction or racing them. Over 15 years, he's only had 127 starters, and just five this year prior to Saturday's race.

Shortly after Silver Seeker was foaled on May 1, 2016, Gene and Erin entered into a partnership on him with breeder Patrick Davis and a third investor.

“The original plan was to send him to an auction in New York,” Gene LaCroix said. “He came in here as a long-legged, shaggy weanling. And when it came time for the X-rays, they didn't come out good. So we decided to scrap the New York auction and put him in Keeneland with a modest reserve.”

There were no takers, and Silver Seeker RNA'd for $7,500 as a yearling.

It turned out that Silver Seeker had developed osteochondrosis in his left stifle. The plan then switched to letting it heal before trying to race against New York-breds.

But, as LaCroix explained, “to make a long story short, we decided to get out of the partnership because we didn't want to be a one-third owner and paying the expense of sending him to another trainer in New York,” when the horse might not be good enough to win there and they had their own training facility in Kentucky.

“But,” LaCroix added, “we suggested that we would take the gamble if we owned 100% of him. And they took us up on it.”

So Gene and Erin bought out the other partners, and were encouraged when Silver Seeker breezed fast as 2-year-old. Then the stifle started bothering him again and he underwent surgery to try and fix it.

That pushed the gelding's debut to age three, when LaCroix entered Silver Seeker in a 5 1/2-furlong maiden special weight at Indiana Grand after training him on the farm for his debut.

“We expected him to do well, but the bettors sure didn't,” LaCroix said. “He went off at 88-1 and won by three.”

The LaCroixes thought Silver Seeker might blossom into a grass router, and they considered sending him to New York. But they first wanted to try him on turf closer to home. A month after his debut upset, the gelding again ran at Indy, but he had trouble on the turns before finishing a credible fourth.

But he came out of that race with a condylar bruise on his left hind, LaCroix said. “They suggested we put a screw in it. And that took another two or three months.”

On Dec. 6, 2019, Silver Seeker returned to action at Turfway Park, prevailing by a head in a 6 1/2-furlong sprint at 16-1 odds in an two-lifetime allowance.

“So I felt pretty good, and we said, 'Okay, he's ready for New York,'” LaCroix recalled. “And we took him to New York and he won that race,” a one-other-than, state-bred allowance over seven furlongs in the slop at Aqueduct on Dec. 31, 2019, this time at 9-1 odds.

But Silver Seeker's left hind lameness returned post-win, and Dr. Bramlage diagnosed a suspensory issue.

“Then in the process of bringing him back, he got a bow in his right front,” LaCroix said. “So we took a year, brought him back slow, just like they told us to do. And one breeze into it, an easy breeze, he showed he was going to tear again. It was minimal, but they thought it was a different spot.”

This meant another entire year off. The list of the veterinarians that the LaCroixes consulted reads like a Who's Who of Kentucky equine practitioners. The gray would eventually miss his entire 4-, 5-, and almost all of his 6-year-old seasons.

“We figured out a plan of bringing him back with a lot of warm-up,” LaCroix said. “Every day, before he went to the track, he went to the exerciser machine for 20 minutes. And he learned to lope at first, not gallop. He'd do a half-mile lope after the jog, and then he would start his gallop. And we built that gallop up starting by getting a mile slow, and then gradually bringing him up.

“My wife is listed as the owner,” LaCroix continued. “But she's really the co-trainer. She's been his caretaker. I go over him too, but it's been a team effort. And we just had so much hope with this horse, that if we could rehab him properly, he could come back.”

Slowly but surely, Silver Seeker regained his fitness and remained sound.

“With all the icing and everything else, we never saw a problem,” LaCroix said.

By the autumn of 2022, he believed that “no horseman could look at either leg and tell which one [had bowed].”

Trouble was, the LaCroixes couldn't find a racing commission vet who would do so much as even glance at Silver Seeker because of the huge gap in his racing career. Their private vets vouched for the gelding's soundness, but the regulatory vets wouldn't budge.

“I can't tell you the effort we went through to get him qualified to race because of the new rule changes,” LaCroix said. “We couldn't get the state vets in Kentucky, Ohio or Indiana to even give him a work to evaluate, pass, or fail him. They wouldn't even look at him.”

Finally, LaCroix said, “Illinois said they would do that. He went up to Hawthorne and had a bullet work, passed with flying colors. So that got him off the vet's list to be eligible to enter.”

Although they still wanted to race him for New York-bred purses, the LaCroixes figured–just like before–that sticking closer to home would be the more prudent first step. Since he worked so well up in Chicago, they entered him at Hawthorne on Nov. 6, 2022, choosing not to run for a tag in an optional $40,000 claiming sprint over six furlongs.

Silver Seeker drew post 10 and went off at 8-1 odds. “He'd never been in an outside post, and the track was lightning fast,” LaCroix explained. “He gained from ninth to fourth, and then he just tired. It made us wonder if it was going to affect him mentally, because it wasn't his fault coming off a 34-month layoff.”

Even if they weren't sure about that potential mental duress, the LaCroixes were certain Silver Seeker was physically ready for a New York race. When the Dec. 10 spot came up in the condition book, Erin, her sister, a groom, and a driver loaded the gray gelding on a van and pointed it 750 miles east to Aqueduct.

“One of us had to stay at the farm,” Gene LaCroix said. “I was there the last time he went to New York, so she went this time. And that was the appropriate way, because Erin has always been more involved in his caretaking.”

Gene watched Silver Seeker's pace-pressing victory at home in Kentucky on TV. Erin told TDN she was “screaming her lungs out” at the rail in New York. The 1:23.99 winning time for seven furlongs equated to a 90 Beyer Speed Figure, a career best for the gelding.

“This horse is very special,” Erin LaCroix said while preparing for the 12-hour ride home. “He's been with us since he was eight months old. And to see him come back like that, he's just a special horse. He is very classy. It's amazing how smart he is. Because he knows what he needs to do to get the job done, and he loves it.”

And how did Silver Seeker come out of the win that ran his lifetime record to 4-for-6 and pushed the one-time $7,500 RNA's purse earnings above the six-figure mark?

“He looks great,” Erin LaCroix said. “Everything's tight. He's happy. He knows he did a good job. He ate all his sweet potatoes and peppermints.”

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Southeast Asia Blog: Treating Colic in the Jungle

Jockey and veterinarian Ferrin Peterson has been writing a blog for the TDN on a charitable veterinary trip to Southeast Asia to help refugees care for their animals. To read the prior installments, click here or here.

I had my first meeting with my new team: the five men who are given the job title in their village as the “mule handlers.” They were all new acquaintances to me, as the mule handlers I worked with in the past became human medics and others moved to new villages. The translator that was going to work with me was an old acquaintance who felt like an uncle to many of us. His name is Poh and he is a human medic, which is helpful when he translates medical concepts for me. One of the mule men pulled out the book, “Where There Is No Animal Doctor,” that I had left with the past mule team. It was a miracle after the disappointment of my failed attempt to bring them their own copy when I had to rearrange my schedule after missing my connection. I suppose my missed flight connection was not as detrimental as I had originally thought.

The mule handlers, Poh, and I sat together, and they told me about the problems they had been witnessing with the herd. Listening to the mule men's questions gave me a sense of their compassion for their herd and attention to detail, and knew I would enjoy working with them. The herd's problems mostly originated from their digestive tracts, so I would be looking for a common denominator there.

I got up early the next morning and walked into the village, when one of the mule men alerted me that one of the mules had a stomach ache. I was planning to teach them how to do a colic workup by the end of the week. Here was a real life example instead, so we sprung into action.

Grabbing my stethoscope, I showed them how to take a heart rate, which took a few tries for the first man to come up with the same number as I did. With a horse's heart beat having a distinct “lub-dub,” they had a tendency to double count. I observed them correcting each other as each man took his turn with the stethoscope while I gathered supplies.

I fetched my nasogastric tube and showed them how to pass it through mule's nose and into her stomach. Poh was there beside me as I described the signs to check to be sure they passed the tube down the esophagus and into the stomach and not down the trachea and into the lungs, an easy and lethal mistake.

After emptying the mule's stomach, I pulled the tube and had the mule men pass it themselves. We all worked together as one person would hold the tube in place, another would funnel in water, and another would hold the bucket for the siphoned stomach contents. The men continued checking vitals, but our mule quickly went downhill. It became apparent to me that this colic would require surgery, which is not an option in the jungle where we do not have an anesthetic machine nor a sterile environment. The mule did not make it, but she provided a valuable teaching opportunity that will help the mule men to treat future sick members of her herd.

I spent the next day in data collection and observation. I believe a lot can be learned from simply studying and getting to know your patient. I stayed around the herd all day, sometimes watching from afar and other times sitting on a rock near them. It was fun to see different members of the herd come up to check me out. I usually won them over with scratches.

On my past trips, the herd would wander far off and forage all day. I noticed this herd was staying in the center of the village waiting for their breakfast and dinner. The mule men were feeding pellets for breakfast, and dinner was rice hulls which had been ground into a powder. I realized the herd was consuming all concentrates and no fiber, which is not conducive to the function of the equine gut.

At breakfast the next morning, I brought this up with the other volunteers. None of them had a horse background, but everyone was concerned about the herd and asked for updates at every meal we shared. I told the coordinator that we needed to increase their pellets for calories, but most importantly the herd needed plant fiber that they can eat throughout the day. He said they could send in more pellets and they would hire porters to carry them in. Unfortunately, to bring in enough hay would be too impractical long-term. One volunteer at the breakfast table had worked in another region of Asia and said he had seen horses eating banana leaves. Fortunately, there were plenty of banana plants surrounding the village here.

Banana leaves and bamboo adds necessary fiber to the mules' diet | Ferrin Peterson photo

When the mule men came to feed the herd their breakfast, I had them add salt and water to the grain and asked them increase the quantity. They told me they would run out of grain by the end of the week if they fed more, but I assured them that more grain was on the way. Then I asked if they could help me get a few banana leaves to see if the herd would eat them. They grabbed their machetes and chopped off a few branches and the herd loved it! The mule men were excited by this finding too and went back to chop down more banana leaves.

I started taking the mules hiking. They needed to build their fitness in order to be useful for packing, and I wanted to see what plants they chose to eat along the route. It also helped me get to know their personalities, and I certainly discovered which mules were the most stubborn of the group. I learned they enjoyed dry banana leaves as well as the fresh ones, and they loved bamboo, both the leaves and the young shoots. That was another exciting discovery, as there is a surplus of bamboo in the jungle.

On one of my mule treks, I came across a fenced-in rice field. I mentioned it to the volunteer coordinator, and he said they had seen the herd out in that field in the past after the rice was harvested. He brought it up to the owner of the rice field, and they gave permission to turn the herd out on it. It was a 45-minute hike from where the herd was staying. I asked the mule handlers to help me turn them out overnight and bring them back in the morning. I did not want to make a sudden feed change and cause one of them to founder. The mule men happily obliged. I left them to work on some things for an hour then returned to move the herd to their pasture, but the herd was gone. I went on my own out to the rice field and found the herd grazing in the rice paddies. One of the mule men was still there, and he showed me the buckets he had filled for their water source. I was extremely impressed with their initiative.

Tomorrow: horses and water buffalo.

 

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Twelve Questions: Duncan Taylor

Duncan Taylor officially stepped down from his role as the front man for Taylor Made Sales and Farm earlier this year, relinquishing his titles of CEO and President. But since we still see him at every sale, he still returns emails in under five minutes, and still regularly sends along really good ideas to help the racing and breeding industry, we're pretty sure that Duncan's idea of retirement is different from that of other people. So we asked.

How's fake retirement going?
I don't have to attend or hold many meetings. am retired from being the CEO of both of our companies. Ben is the CEO/President of Taylor Made Stallions. Mark, as most people already know has taken over as the CEO/President of Taylor Made Sales Agency. The fake retirement is I am still working. My brothers Ben, Frank and Mark are all outstanding and I know they are doing a great job. So I have retired from a great deal of responsibility. I am helping them in whatever way they need and still bombarding them with ideas.

Who's the hardest working person you know who isn't you?
It's a tie between my mother Mary Emily Taylor and Jerry Hollendorfer and they both worked harder than me.

Favorite race of the year that wasn't Flightline?
Epicenter (Not This Time)'s Travers, for financial reasons. The Breeders' Cup Distaff as a fan was better than the great Flightline.

If you didn't work in horse racing, what would have become of you?
I think I would have been trying to grow another type of business. I am very competitive. In some ways, that is a blessing and in some ways it is a curse.

If you could recruit one stallion from another farm to Taylor Made, who would it be?
Gun Runner.

Who is the horse you sold who made you the proudest?
Dancing Brave in 1985. He was Champion three-year-old in Europe. He won Europe's premiere race, the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe, the G1 English Two Thousand Guineas, the G1 Coral-Eclipse S., the G1 King George VI And Queen Elizabeth Diamond S., and 2nd in the G1 Epsom Derby. We offered American Pharoah for sale. I have to put him right up there as a Triple Crown winner.

What accomplishment are you most proud of this year?
I am most proud of two things. My son Marshall, who is doing very well as a Taylor Made Thoroughbred advisor. Every parent wonders about their children. Marshall, like all of us, had some struggles. Although as he has become more like his mother, he has become a great person. He had his first year with his pinhooking venture, Castleton Way, pinhooking weanlings to yearlings for a bunch of his customers and he had many happy customers. That is what business is all about.

Second, Not This Time's performance as a sire and in particular the Kentucky Derby, having Epicenter second and Simplification fourth. It is very hard to have a young stallion who as done as well as Not This Time has. When we first started Taylor Made, we boarded Tartan Farm's broodmares and had the champion sprinter Ta Wee. I didn't know how that mare would be so good to the Taylors. Not This Time's second dam is linebred 2×3 to TA Wee.

Sweetest horse who has ever been on Taylor Made?
California Chrome. He was a ham and was appreciative of every fan that fed him a Chrome cookie.

Best advice you ever got?
The Ten Commandments. As I look back on my life, I see that the advice given in the Ten Commandments is awesome. Most every time I went against that advice given in the Ten Commandments, it didn't end up well for me in the long term. When we humans
trade long-term joy and happiness for short-term pleasure, we are making the wrong choice.

Most embarrassing moment?
I don't like this question! For a man that was just talking about the goodness of the Ten Commandments, now you are going to expose my foolishness as a young boy. In high school, my friends and I went to a party. I drank way too much alcohol. The next morning, I was informed that I relieved myself in the kitchen cabinet of my schoolmate's house.

If you could change one thing about your career, what would it be?
I would have listened to my wife Carol more.

All I want for Christmas…?
Is to have God's grace to be everything God made me to be.

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