Tag: Haiku Handicapper

Time to analyze the 2023 Preakness Stakes field, in post position order, in the form of Haiku; a Japanese poem of 17 syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.

To read previous editions of The Haiku Handicapper, click here.

#1 – National Treasure
He never stood out
In SoCal's depleted ranks
Somehow still live here

#2 – Chase the Chaos
Auto-qualified
And hasn't run a step since
Enjoy the crabcakes

#3 – Mage
The Derby winner
Ran off all of his rivals
Rightly heavy chalk

#4 – Coffeewithchris
A Laurel local
Hasn't thrived with more distance
Shouldn't be a threat

#5 – Red Route One
Does all his running
Once the quarter pole goes by
If there's room, watch out

#6 – Perform
Survived a slugfest
To earn his spot in the gate
Could tough out a check

#7 – Blazing Sevens
Skipped Derby – good call
Searching for last year's lost form
Low exotic play

#8 – First Mission
SCRATCHED

Prediction
Heart-stopping photo
Red Route One gets up in time
Three, one fill the tri

The post The Haiku Handicapper Presented By FanDuel Racing: 2023 Preakness Stakes appeared first on Horse Racing News | Paulick Report.

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Time to analyze the 2023 Kentucky Derby field, in post position order, in the form of Haiku; a Japanese poem of 17 syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.

To read previous editions of The Haiku Handicapper, click here.

#1 – Hit Show
Lost a brutal bob
But proved he could take a punch
Post draw does him in

#2 – Verifying
Who needs a rider?
Could be a fun summer horse
Holding stock for now

#3 – Two Phil's
Blue-collar hero
will dominate state derbies
Over the summer

#4 – Confidence Game
Valentine's candy
Was on discount at Walgreen's
The last time he ran

#5 – Tapit Trice
Would it be cliché
To say he's my Belmont horse?
Will be gaining ground

#6 – Kingsbarns
Why'd it take so long
For a final-prep winner
To land a jockey?

#7 – Reincarnate
Hit the wall last out
Started with *Name Redacted*
This isn't his spot

#8 – Mage
Looked clear at Gulfstream
Must resolve his gate issues
To factor again

#9 – Skinner
Thrilling So-Cal tilt
A California third
Won't make a dent here

#10 – Practical Move
SCRATCHED

#11 – Disarm
He did just enough
To make it into the gate
C's don't get Derbies

#12 – Jace's Road
Two races this year
Lost by combined 19 lengths
Nah, I think I'm good

#13 – Sun Thunder
Here's a game – don't cheat
Name the best Sun Thunder race
Go ahead…I'll wait

#14 – Angel of Empire
Flawless Oaklawn prep
If he's got one more level
This could go through him

#15 – Forte
Was his Gulfstream surge
A display of his resolve
Or tank-emptying?

#16 – Raise Cain
Moves up in the mud
He'll pass a few in the stretch
But far from enough

#17 – Derma Sotogake
Doesn't need the lead
But if he sets cruising speed
He might just draw off

#18 – Rocket Can
That Holy Bull win
Feels like a lifetime ago
Small exotic threat

#19 – Lord Miles
SCRATCHED

#20 – Continuar
SCRATCHED

#21 – Cyclone Mischief
Constantly around
Never in a headline spot
Also-ran fodder

#22 – Mandarin Hero
Nearly shocked the world
In American debut
Save a place for him

#23 – King Russell
Surprise! He's running.
Could be a fun Preakness horse
In too deep today

Prediction
With a well-placed trip
Angel of Empire wins it
Then five, twenty-two

The post The Haiku Handicapper Presented By FanDuel Racing: 2023 Kentucky Derby appeared first on Horse Racing News | Paulick Report.

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Time to analyze the 2023 Kentucky Oaks field, in post position order, in the form of Haiku; a Japanese poem of 17 syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.

To read previous editions of The Haiku Handicapper, click here.

#1 – Mimi Kakushi
Showed grit in Meydan
Appreciate her patience
But class jump's daunting

#2 – The Alys Look
A big regression
When empty in Fair Grounds Oaks
Passing for this race

#3 – Gambling Girl
One-run deep closer
Still zeroing in her aim
Will gain placing late

#4 – Southlawn
Post-winter glow-up
But Churchill's her kryptonite
Which streak will be snapped?

#5 – Wonder Wheel
The 2-year-old champ
Has the body of a star
But her form's vanished

#6 – Botanical
Tapeta monster
Will have a say in fractions
Just not all of them

#7 – Wet Paint
Ruled over Oaklawn
Fits any profile you'd want
It all goes through her

#8 – Promiseher America
The Gazelle shocker
Getting good in a hurry
Are there more levels?

#9 – And Tell Me Nolies
Just cross out Faiza
And she could be the top pick
Keep on your radar

#10 – Flying Connection
New Mexico's best
Couldn't hack it it Del Mar
She'll be through early

#11 – Defining Purpose
Big Ashland surprise
Was getting caught in short stretch
Regression foreseen

#12 – Dorth Vader
Figures into pace
Gave it up with more distance
Doubt she'll be there late

#13 – Affirmative Lady
Blossomed at Gulfstream
Not afraid of a class jump
A viable horse

#14 – Pretty Mischievous
Got caught, gets blinkers
Bred up and down for success
A threat, if focused

#15 AE – Taxed
Wet Paint's punching bag
She'll win something nice someday
But this isn't it

#16 AE – Julia Shining
Massive pedigree
Could have been a contender
But needs too much help

#17 AE – Hoosier Philly
Remember the buzz
When folks thought she could beat colts?
Not a concern now

Prediction
Nothing too splashy
Wet Paint's the best of her class
Fourteen, nine follow

The post The Haiku Handicapper Presented By FanDuel Racing: 2023 Kentucky Oaks appeared first on Horse Racing News | Paulick Report.

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