While horseplayers, handicappers, and public touts have all the fun sifting through their facts and figures for the 149th Kentucky Derby presented by Woodford Reserve coming up May 6, we poor ink-stained wretches of the Fourth Estate must sit around twiddling our thumbs, wondering what kind of result we'll be stuck with and praying it will be a tale our grandchildren can tell. Or at least gets a few dozen retweets.